Dictator Check List

Consolidate power through nepotism and corruption – because who better to trust than your own incompetent relatives?

Monopolize violence by turning the police and military into your personal goon squad. Goodbye protests, hello curfews.

Throw the masses a bone now and then – build a shiny stadium or pave a few roads – just enough to keep them thanking you for the scraps.

Eliminate political enemies. Whether it's exile, jail, or "mysterious disappearances", make dissenters wish they'd stayed silent.

Rewrite history and hijack hearts and minds. Make sure your face is everywhere, and your slogans echo in their dreams.

Cook up a grand ideology to explain why you deserve absolute power. Bonus points if it sounds noble but means nothing.

Crush labor unions to keep workers obedient and wages low. Who needs bargaining power when you've got fear?

Cripple public education so no one learns how to question you – critical thinking is dangerous, after all.

Sink students in debt and leave them jobless, so they're too broke and tired to protest.

Cut deals with the ultra-rich: you protect their billions, they bankroll your regime. It's win-win (for them and you).

Keep the public anxious, angry, and broke. Desperation makes them easier to control – and blame.

Blame it all on "them". Immigrants, minorities, intellectuals – any scapegoat will do. Fear sells.

Defeat a "common enemy" to play the hero. Manufacture one if necessary – wars are optional, but effective.

Sow cynicism about democracy itself. If people stop believing, they stop resisting.

Pitch yourself as the only strongman who can fix the chaos (that you quietly created).

Drown the airwaves in lies so big and bold they'll seem like truth after enough repeats.

Get elected "fairly", then slam the door behind you. Democracy was fun while it lasted.

Shut down the free press. One state-run propaganda channel is easier for everyone.

Mandatory dictator décor: hang your portrait everywhere – home, office, wallet. Loyalty is best advertised.

Cancel people's protest plans. Unauthorized gatherings now come with rubber bullets and tear gas.

Reduce elections to an elaborate theater – rigged, violent, and utterly pointless.