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Spam Poetry


What is this?
Just like most other users of e-mail, I often receive obscure medical offerings from people who claim to have intimate knowledge regarding the dimensions of my reproductive organ - a type of message commonly refered to as "spam". These e-mails somehow scoop up textual content from random web pages, to cheat themselves past my e-mail filter (and yours). Sometimes these little pieces of computer generated text almost make sense, which is of course purely accidental, as they are constructed by a mindless computer program. I've decided to keep some of the more amusing and poetic examples on this page. Titles and formatting have been slightly modified for readability.

Here are a few examples...



Backflipping Earth

Nationality BACK TO No problem!
Terra at six in 1906!


The Spanish Pirates

And we put her to the sword, they crossed the island, the two prisoners accompanying them, and dared not encourage his son to defiance, and presumably was ashamed honest, decent fellows.

So I've fetched ye aboard as a hostage. It was in his mind to slink back in the night, once his work attorment could bring no regrets, he had kept the thought of her ever with all I have heard of Spanish honour and all that I have seen of orders, and I have not ordered this.

Par la Mordieu! Voila! said he, pregnantly, to the firmament. The gloom above their heads, coming from the door of the poop cabin proposal coldly.

Hagthorpe incontinently opposed it. If I urged you upon my uncle, sir, it was that I commiserated you. By setting him to work on the plantations, for which purpose he had for me to know.


The Wisdom of The Mountain

I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry,

with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.

While as yet he had not made the earth, nor the fields, nor the highest part of the dust of the world.

Treasures of wickedness profit nothing but righteousness delivereth from death.

That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.


Harry's Evil Shark

Dracula, however, has nothing on the great white shark. Susan Casey went in search of the vicious sea creatures in one of their native habitats, a string of wind-whipped rock outcroppings called the Farallon Islands, about 25 miles west of San Francisco. (Indeed, the islands are considered within.)

"It didn't seem to drone on and on," she said. "There was a lot of stuff in the fourth book that could have been cut out, and the fifth book was really long. In the sixth book, everything fit in."

"There's nothing quite like Harry Potter in publishing," Bookseller magazine children's book expert Caroline Horn told Reuters.


And then the shrooms kicked in...

Gargled you can sketched, hers who dispatchers.

Deed electrocution it were liner.

Indifference barrenness, you may domesticates her.

Triceratops Windsor he could dissimilar.

Hoodwinking is retried back his Angola.

Overly did Lillian his obsolete.

Contained you could marble, mine after bracketed.

Bream Eastwood, you Mollie frescoes must coverlet his.



Plans

Young gentlemen is generally tired of beef and mutton. The letter was reluctantly produced and as I handed it to the old lady I saw how the congressionals plans. Well ... well ... maam ... said the ovid cheerfully.

I am not bigoted to my plans.


Calm Prophetic Agony

Honoured guest and called for a log of nihilism to be thrown on the fire, that he might see the face in a sort of calm prophetic agony. And I know he'll die there sooner than he'll overturn. I will, aunt, it has occurred to me, pursued my aunt, that a little change and a glimpse of life.


Shooting Star

You crave to shoot like a film star...
Every man wants it!

Be realistic - you always wanted it!
Don't be afraid!
SPUR-M will get you the results you need!

When one shears the sheep, the skin on the ram trembles breeze

DELETE wks


C..e..a..s..e

NASA experts will spend the next two days analyzing the blanket to determine whether it presents a threat and evaluate possible options for mitigating any possible danger, he said.


Blood guilt

Don't waste yourself in rejection, nor bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.

Kampus else halberget try. Or rats cards/systems not, else climb gynerium or maybe Tradkampusion.

Means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. Coverage is the democracy of the dead.

Tradcu_niion refuses to submherre to the small bloodguiltiness arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about.


An odd case of tourettes syndrome

I know of nothing sublime which is not some modification of power.

Stepfathers microspherulitic coliplication fructuary!

As peace is the end of war, so to be idle is the ultimate purpose of the busy.

Enamine winger bibliomanist!


Young Beautiful Knees of Zinc

Beauty is not caused. It is.

We are living in the excesses of freedom.

Just take a look at 42nd Street an Broadway.

Kneebrush zincifying.

It takes a long time to become young.


The confused attorney

You're forgetting. We have the location from the numbers.

Oh? Someone has to come and repair the machine.

Oh. We take him and find out who sent him there.

You know, Peter, youve got possibilities. For a neophyte, you understand, your current outrageously undeserved position notwithstanding.

Sorry I cant offer you a drink.

Bryce Ogilvie, of the law firm Ogilvie, Spofford, Crawford and Cohen, was dictating a highly complex reply to the Justice Departments antitrust division when his very private telephone line rang; it rang only at his desk. He picked up the phone, pressed the green button and spoke rapidly.

Hold on, he ordered, looking up at his secretary.


Bujumbura Sawtimber Mosque

Rochester we bujumbura that alumnus come with his photometry. When we last saw whose it wasn't intuition. Then after mosque or strawberry got to the blizzard it was like sawtimber. So when whinny was timeshare too we swabby. Filter and leisure took a trench with them to the enjoinder. We iffy to prime the stipulate over at the kinesthesis. Denise Guerrero


Secret Spoon Treasure

In a treasure without relay the face of fare grew ferdinand Black spoon mouths, the doctoring swallowed up the sun butterflies air was tunnels with suppressed fasting. The wind eyeing through the long itched and sobbed and rope the secret defeats.


Weight Calculation Disbelief

I am writing to explicit my appreciation for the surprising calculations obtained through your manufactured article. I had better like to cut my winner untruth with everyone who might be a little disbelieving as I once was. Over the past 25 donkey's years, I have lost and addition the 15-20 pounds many times with all nature of regime but could at no time claim the weight lost.


Spam Hell

Broken Bones

Quilting made Primates Brains

OpenFire brought Scarred Bombs


Rise and Fall

Leader Russian adaptable future name.

Made last flight Syria is now encoded as PDF format.

Plan symbolic plus. Well popular. Much fanfare.

Later simple defeat.


Franz Ferdinand Frat Funeral

Terminate useful immovable scientist.

Detection autism.

Crossing zones taglines bookish finders.

NEVER position eyes axis during overhaul Challenge.

Strangest card.

PunkPop Nuptials mistakes Lieberman Choice.



Love Breeze

Into early blooming. Then, the inevitable blizzard. To run, as in the time of the bee, seeking. Then takes a step back, to be safe as she reaches. As if your human shape were what the storm. Cascading snowflakes settle in the pines, Where, as I discover as I go through.


Silence, are in his hand - birds in a snare

Along the walls are only empty niches

I bring down a bit of its light

This perfection, this absence

Between the high and the low, in this night

Absurdly, my eyes can only see the arc



Flush Announcement of Dinner

Are eager to put. Now, farewell! He shook his adam, acting for mr. Burge, was carrying out the velvet suit and lace collar. 'Now, arthur,' said though. It isn't as though there had been a weapon the room and picked up the receiver. Yes, yes. Too was an egoist, in her own way in the flush announcement of dinner. I think those of us who to me that i had done.


Gentleman girl of bluegray eyes and dark hair

Dorothea took some almonds on earth when she saw me walking into her room, born in a mountain cave and accustomed to slay of the gift of that boon that somadatta subsequently occur to me that they wanted papers.

I rushed man for man a match even for captain moonlight.

I saw this gentleman girl of bluegray eyes and dark hair.

She had been while those attained have been lost.


God dag,

Fuck beer! Got sexy girl?

Click here, of all narratives.

Vasudeva is the wheel of time!



A message from Mr. Kaupu Eisentrout

Seeing the plight to which seemed to stir the placid sea to wildest wrath. To watch my moment, creep down those funny little moment markham desired anything but commotion, that are good exerting themselves with care and obstacles which, when we last parted, appeared riffles thus further interrupted a little silence.


Ljorg's spam mail (in danish)

Vi fik tysk narko i vores hverdag af gaden til postvæsen. I 82 du så det af dit brev med andres email i siden. Vi er trætte i valbi kongens enghave sydhavn post til politbureau som i ikke dækker af nyhed.

22 år med forsøg af alarm af chikane der fik skralde til at trække sit væk af kommune. Vi er chokeret over vores hverdag med hån til biler postkasser og radio i stemmerne af kaffe. Vi ser jeres håndværk som idiot som ikke kæmper vores gade til fred. Hvordan kan man i dette lille by overse at porno slås. Fik du taget fotos 48 måneder med portrætter i stil af honduras kører igennem mikkelsborg og gade mozart.

Vi ser dem være her i jeres byggeri og tænker du er for tam af redaktør som ikke tør se dem! 42 bygninger med deres børn. Hvem er dit svar til folk breve om jeres skrive. Er du et flot erstatning af 7000 borgerer som er med svigt i alle led af kommune. Har de sat sig i edb som de plejer og maser sit folk til vores tal. Send et oprigtig artikel dit idiot.

Sidder vel hele tiden kun kasse til redaktør. Stuntmen damer vikinger rocker civilklædt deres amt deres ambulance deres læger deres børn deres institutioner i skoler til vores med alle mulige deltagere af deres personer. Sydhavn! Hvem er vagt til deres røverier til jul! Send dem til banken af guldbarer, i deres datahaj! Send en rapport om stedet nu du ignorerer deres muslimer.

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